Pet Peeves (cont'd)

3. Work Washrooms

There are cold and lifeless bathrooms, and then there are the work washrooms. Sure, some of them do look nice - at first glance. But as soon as you take your first look around you know you have landed yourself right back into elementary school. Some of the other washrooms in the office are nice but those are restricted to the upper management because it is more in their area. God forbid someone go in there (from a different department) and have to take a giant turd! That's sacrilege! Have you no shame! Pinch and hold for the elementary stalls where they don't have any air fresheners floating in the air! Don't even think of having any big bowel movements here. I mean, it is bad enough for having to take a crap at work in the first place, but if you're under the weather you have no choice.

Of course, if your desk is close to a washroom that is only a one stall type of work washroom, I feel so sorry for you...Never mind the person (being that this type of work washroom is for a small office) be it man or woman who has to walk shamefully past you. In the same breath if it's someone that you don't care for in your office - having a turd can be a way of vengeance. You can pretend like your sorry when deep inside it felt good to release that into the office and nauseate the person that you hate. Maybe knock out a few extra bystanders. Whatever!

Needless to say in a work washroom you will find it best not to look too closely at anything. Just make sure you have a full roll of toilet paper, so you can line the toilet as well (because although work bathrooms get cleaned, people just do a quick half-assed job) and get you job done...if you know what I mean.

Work hates it when you are on a washroom break because that's less time you WORKING. Work is paying you to be there so it's best you hurry up and get it done because the phones are ringing off the hook and people are getting mighty anxious outside the washroom to have their chance for a quick break. Can you not hear them whispering in their seats "Hurry up! Hurry up! I'm going to piss myself!" This counts even if you have more than one stall. Work still hates you using their washrooms when you should be working. If work could they'd have installed potties right at your workstation so you'd never have to leave your posts!!!

So get back to work!

Pet Peeves (cont'd)

2. Restaurant Bathrooms


Restaurant Bathrooms are another pet peeve of mine. People who work as servers in a restaurant try not to be the ones who have to clean the washrooms. If they can avoid it they will at all cost.

That is why some of the best quick graffiti can be found there. The Men's Washrooms are questionable at best and the Women's Washrooms are like walking into a 80's hair salon. Especially if the restaurant becomes a bar at night. Then you get other great things like being able to tell how many times the stalls have been re-painted by the way the scratches in the stalls peal away the years of bad colors with a set of sharpened keys. Drunk women break out the lipstick or whatever makeup they can find and write all over the walls in vengeance for someone stealing their prey that they'd been stalking all afternoon from transition from restaurant into bar.

The hooks on the back of the stalls have been broken or pried off for one reason or another. When you use the washrooms in restaurants please take caution. Check immediately for cigarette burns on the toilet seat or toilet roll dispenser. Make sure there is toilet paper in the stall and for God sake, don't linger too long inside this bathroom. If there are no hooks to hold onto your purse while you squat above the seat, just tuck it under your arm. That way if the lights go out no one will steal your purse. Make sure there are also toilet liners for the seats and if there aren't make sure you have enough toilet paper to line the seat so you don't touch it. Who knows how long it has been sitting this way for! Usually these bathrooms smell of cigarettes or stale perfume. Just don't stick around if you hear someone else come in. Quickly finish your business and exit quietly through the door you came from and no one gets hurt.

Just a Little Note Before We Begin:

I know it has been an eternity since I was blogging but I have been trying my hand at other different things and gave up writing for a while because I thought (and I know it) no one was paying attention to the ramblings of an old fool. I am completely immersed in trying to get published, but now I'm realizing I am a drip in an ocean of people striving for the same thing.

I don't know whether to feel more foolish but my heart just keeps telling me that something has got to work for me. I am willing, but my flesh is weak! I just need to push myself more. I have other things on my agenda, but that is none of your business - if you really are reading this my lovely public.

If you are *I wish* I would tell you that I am ready for transition! If you wanted to take advantage of a great opportunity right now to have someone like me do any type of art for you - now would be that time. I'm turning a lot of my stories I had written when I was younger as well as the ones in my head into graphic novels instead. Scanning them and then digitizing them into color. I am going to have some more showings in the future when I have built up my collection of paintings as well. That's just some of the things I have been hatching in this brain of mine.

I will be continuing the Pet Peeves section of this blog, and maybe even putting up some clips and other strange things in the future to boggle the mind. This is my new stage and I plan to sweep away all the webs and make this place shine!