Happy Holidays!!

While I'm waiting for my picture to load for this blog I will write you, my fine reader, and hope that you are in fine spirits. This evening we were rehearsing for the show tomorrow, and I really hope we can pull this off. I'd like to start looking like a professional show. I wonder what the people on the other end of something like that feel. Does it confuse them? Do they get the trick? Are they even listening?

Sometimes holding the show live is different from when we advertise it to where they are being done for a company. Some people get so sloppy drunk they disrupt or fall asleep while the show is going. Hope this goes well. At least I'll get a decent meal out of it! LOL! Just kidding. I hope we really start going somewhere with this...It's kind of dreamy...

Well, I guess I'll pass on the picture for now, and wish you Happy Holidays and may your Christmas and New Year be pleasant and peaceful and safe. You are always safe here, my dear reader. I will hold your hand and console you and be proud of you when you continue on despite the complications of your life. We all do what we can.

Be well.

Peace.

Kim

It's My Birthday!!

Can you believe it!
36 Years already passed!
Just a drop in the bucket of what is to come!!
I'm so excited!

There is so much going on and I can't tell all of you who read how happy I am today! I have great friends and family that I love dearly and appreciate them so much it goes without words! I do feel a little melancholy when I think of those who I've loved and lost whether it be by death or just separation. I know they're thinking of me just as much as I am them. It's like a movie going through my mind of them taking a moment to remember... It's painful that they're gone, but what can I do now? How do you fix something like that? My dear reader, you know deep inside you wish everyone knew what the other person is thinking in their mind of minds - the sub-conscious - because then the other would realize how we effect or affect eachother and everything around us.

That's why this is such a wonderful day. I know my friends and the people who love me! I feel really good. Thanks for all You do because You've shown me so much. Deep down I know we understand eachother regardless of the differences in our lifestyles. We all understand - and that makes a world of difference!

I Hope You're Having A Great Day!!

My Dreams Came True Today....

I was dreaming last night of kissing my lover, so softly...so warmly...so tenderly, that when I awoke with him lying beside me I slid towards him and hovered above him. I looked upon his face so fair, so peaceful in slumber that I couldn't resist...I kissed my lover, and he kissed me back - so softly...so warmly...so tenderly. My dream came true.

I was privileged to be able to see the inside of a beautiful condominium located at the top of the Sheritton Hotel in Niagara Falls thanks to my lover's brother, we were allowed in for a look around and I couldn't get over the SIZE of this place! This place when completed will be in every "Architectural Digest" and "Home" Magazines across the world!! It was over 10,000 sq. ft. My biggest apartment was 1/10th corner of this condominium! There was a sweeping staircase that led upstairs to many other rooms, including a gaming room and a projection screen theatre room with a bar! I was looking through the hallways and came across the ultimate bathroom! I looked once and I was lured inside where I saw a beautiful etched shower door of the Niagara Falls that led to a bathtub that had stairs and posts. Across from it was a fireplace and the light of the room was supplied by the one wall of windows that faced the Falls. Further down were more rooms and a giant walk-in closet. Every spot in the place you had a clear view of the American and Canadian Falls...Where was I in the midst of Extreme Makeover Home Edition?...And the FISH TANK!!! I was touching Heaven in more ways than one looking at this place!! I don't think I touched anything because I thought either alarms would go off or it would disolve underneathe my fingers and it wouldn't be real. But it was! Perhaps I can do a mural for them on the wall where the tub is. Oh if I could draw a picture with my mind!! What a beautiful place and I can't wait to add it to my dreams - and my nightmares!

That place sure did top the places I lived when I was in college! I thought it would be alright; not too big but I was told it was nicer than any movie star's place - and boy was it ever! Wow! I'd love to see it when it's finished!

I can't say anymore...I'm overwhelmed...My Dreams Came True Today!!

Message to All Extra Terrestrials....

First I would like to welcome you to earth. I understand our ways must be pretty bizarre considering that we've been one of several species that roam the earth. Most of the other creatures here seem to pay no mind or lash out with anger with what they don't know. Humans are no exception although we have been made aware of your presence years ago. Speculation would say that it is impossible and SETI is still looking for you, but I know you're already out there.

Myself I just want to apologise for the state in which this world is, nobody has had time to clean up and look at the mess we're in! I am just one of a billion people who have been trying to do my best to clean up and reduce, reuse, recycle and use local transit and try not to eat things that are bad for me. It's hard to do when there are some who don't even care. I try to care, but I get hurt so easily! What's a poor human to do?

Anyway, I just want to say hello, and I hope you have a better chance with earth than we did. Let's hope that you may save a few of us earthlings to help with your recovery efforts. If you plan on taking over make sure that you let us know first so we aren't so scared, okay?

;^)

Kim

In the Clutches of the Wind....

Swirling over great blue skies
Stirring leaves of the birch in a flutter
Boundless waves rise and fall
Sparks a flame and makes it sputter

Upon the seas, come ride with me
There is nothing we can't claim
Take in upon us all the air of our lungs
Dry embers stirred by flame

Change our existence to dust
Blow the clouds down from the sky
Free the trapped seedlings off the fences
Giving life another try

MY TALENTS...

I did some panels of some favorite characters that Mason (my friends' son) really likes and are in his room. I'm adding them to my portfolio and also to my blog today along with a couple of cool paintings that I've been working on since the summertime. They are quite impressive when I look back at what I've accomplished. I don't see how I cannot get someone interested in the work that I do. After all it is a talent of mine (one of many that I have). My art is exciting! Even for me! Please feel free to leave a comment.

Today the blog-world - tomorrow...THE WORLD!

Yes.

Kim

WHAT DO I THINK I'VE BEEN UP TO?!! - In Too Deep Remix

Well, I've been trying to sell some of my artwork but unfortunately - no luck. I'm not going to give up my pieces for less than I want because I love them. I remember all I did to make them. There's something that the scollars never talked about when they discussed artwork and the artist, they forget to mention the time that goes into each piece. It may be a picture someone has seen before but not the same medium as before and it puts the emotional feel into the piece. I express myself in this fashion as no one has before in art's history. If I feel a piece isn't finished I will not sign it until it is.

This is part of what I've been up to as well as trying to write a small novella. I enjoy the old fiction writers of the past that made you feel as if you were living in that period where manners meant something and dressing appropriately for different occassions where you had to be at your most uncomfortable spot in your life and yet behave as if you were at perfect ease with everything. I guess writing a novel will not be as easy an undertaking as I thought. It forces me to dig deep for something, not just for my art but for everything I want in this life. Oh, in my past lives I was so well off! I can have that again, but I will have to push hard again. I'm not afraid, I'm in my prime. I can take it all on!

Heck, I'm still young! I've enjoyed this life emensely, I couldn't imagine myself anywhere else than where I am. I've got the fire inside and I've got my God by my side to give me strength, so what do I have to fear? Nothing that isn't out of my control. Whatever is out of my control is none of my concern. I have focus and I have a dream that I can't let go of now!

I'm excited about the future!

Bring It On - Seal

HAPPY HALLOWE'EN

It's surprising how no one really remembers the apostrophe anymore. It use to throw me when I would try spelling it as a child.

It really means (for you who don't know) Hallowed Evening. An evening when all revered and feared were once more upon the earth. The made up evil creatures came later to keep people from celebrating it as a holiday...Most churches saw it as a Pagan threat that people celebrated. It's in a way a celebration of the fall, the harvest and the dead who have moved on. There is nothing wrong with that! The going door to door is also a tradition like the Mummers who used to dress in costume to celebrate the living. It could have been a best friend but you'd never know because they were disguised. It is a way of reminding us - like November when Remeberence Day comes - that the dead need to be respected just as much if not more than the living because ultimately we are on our way to that final destination. It tells us not to be afraid of it and that sometimes the dead are trying to communicate with the living...I know it didn't work so well for Houdini, trying to reunite with his wife during a seance so many years ago, but it's the thought that counts.

Life and death; death and life...the neverending circle of living. My circle will be the last circle of my life. I will progress no farther than what I am now. I will not pass on my genes to anyone, and there is no need. What kind of torture do I want to put another life through after having to deal with my own. I grin and bear it because no one likes a wuss, but let me tell you I never want anyone to come to me and ask me why I am the way I am. I don't need a child to tell me that there are things wrong with the world and why I didn't do anything to make it better. I've lived long enough in my generations to know that there is a lot of sadness and heartbreak but there is also love which can burst out of any blue moment. Just remember there are better things to do than be depressed, instead do something productive. For those who do have kids - love them for they are still a part of yourself that you didn't know was inside...Loving them you learn to love yourself that much more. Let them know the stories of your family, let them know the good and the bad of life because they don't need to be afraid. Fear is part of living but it doesn't have to be a way of life.

With that I hope you have a wonderful Hallowe'en!

Kim

PS I still have to tell you about my other lives!! I will have to gather up all that I can remember and one day post it for one of my next blogs!! Do you believe in other lives? What do you think of this blog? Let me know.

I LOST IT!

SHIT! This is horrible! I guess I am more right than I thought! I know a secret and I'm not going to tell. I'll give you a hint though - it has to do with God. Anyways, I've been trying for the third time to get this blog posted this evening...WOW! This is AWESOME! REALLY AWESOME!! I am so incredibly exasperated! Okay, okay this is the most strangest evening on the computer I think I have ever spent. Maybe it's the change of weather...Rainy; miserable; grey...The Toronto Maple Leaf's won tonight, that's a bonus. I know what you're thinking, (coo-coo) but I really believe in something right tonight. Isn't it wonderful! I think so.

I love Sean Connery - don't you? Not for the James Bond but the Ramerez in Highlander. There's a man who time treated kindly in his prime!

Peace.

Love.

Kim.

The Madam Was Hell....

The waters wash my pain away...

The pool room was hot and smelt like mould and sickness lurked in the walls. Why she had made me come all that way, I still don't understand. If I had known it would lead me to this...I felt like I had been quickly awakened from a dream with bad news...Water dripped on the floor nearby and some landed on my shoulder and head. I lay on the wet stone floor as the pain came again...

She threw down her black leather whip and screamed:

"There will be no more honest people out there!"

Deep inside I knew she was right.

She obviously had known long before I had that the end was coming soon. And I had wondered why she smiled at me like a cat that had caught it's mouse when usually she wouldn't even give me the time of day. It was a trap I was walking into! She led me on. I felt deception...

When I awoke my eyes were sore and stinging when I tried to see straight; I would have to close my eyes to soothe the pain in my eyes. My back and neck were sore; I felt broken, rotten and dirty. I could taste my sweat on my lips and I burned with fury unfettered. The iron collar around my neck felt tight.

"You have no backbone! You're a chickenshit!!"

"Flattery will get you nowhere now, simpleton! You're my slave now and I have you under contract which you signed willingly..."

"I didn't know it would lead me into bondage, but don't worry...As soon as my contract is up you would have wished you would have let me go long ago!"

Her evil red smile gleaming over razor sharp teeth, "Well...I guess we'll see..." Her face swelled and wrinkled and I went into a strange slumber once again...

The waters washed over me...

The Knight Series

When I was in college I decided to see how many things I could substitute the word "night" for "knight". The things I came up with were to me hilarious and this was the first of many to follow.

"It was a dark and stormy night..." turned into "He was a dark and stormy Knight".

This is part of the Knight Series which is a constant thing in "tHe BoOk" and I will post more as I continue.

tHe BoOk

I am pleased to let you know my fine reader that I am going to bring you excerpts from "tHe BoOk". It is the Best of tHe BoOk, which has spanned the course of ten years...Many interesting and weird things to show...So let's get started from the beginning.....

THE DEVIL'S GOT YOUR NUMBER

The phrase was fun enough that I wanted to draw it...so I used a friend's name from college who was obsessed with Satan and made a twist on it. Taa-daa!

Fragility of Life...

I've come to realize on the search for self in this life time, that life is so fragile. It seems almost as if existance on this planet is getting to a point where it's almost fighting itself. There is nature and ourselves that we have to battle, maybe this existance wont be as long as was originally thought. Maybe we've been here too long and we are slowly being taken over by nature. I'm excited about what the future of this planet will be and if I will be experiencing more of it as we progress. I am so lucky to be alive! To experience existance at a human point in this very time. All the things I've experienced! We are truly a village, we all just want to be free and feel safe...And why shouldn't we in this time! The lights have not dimmed and we are experiencing something that never can be reproduced with any technology! Life is alive! Right now! Dance and sing! Feel free if you are able to...Because you are!

Love.

Yes.

Kim

Just A Quick Little Something...

I haven't written for a while...I've been learning a little more about how the blogs work and am scheming of a way to get it off the ground by myself...I may even make my own podcasts or something interesting or downloadable. I have no idea how this will turn out in the future...but for now I enjoy just looking at the site every once and a while...

I will be starting a new job today at the Mademoiselle's Fitness and Spa and I am excited to get started. I hope everything goes well and I will remain there for a while...Danny Zzzz's has been doing well also and there are more prospects coming for my artwork in the future so I will have my hands in many things...I will enjoy the stress and take it on with a smile!

I had a brilliant plan last night of how to get a character in one of my stories to be animated...specially. I hope it works because it could be SO funny!! I've done a few shorts...but this will be different. And what is the slogan for Apple? Do Something Different? Well, I'm doing a lot of different things right now so I am excited to see if this works.

One more thing to ponder...I've been having a lot of deja vu's lately and I worry because, like I told my hubby, something bad occurs in my dream that fills me with trepidation. Although in real life nothing happens I get a little unnerved thinking something bad is going to happen next and I know it is totally the wrong attitude to have, it just means I'm heading in the right direction. I shouldn't be frightened at all, something great is headed my way!

Missing You...

It's coming up to a year since my mom passed away and I miss her so much! I hope she's dancing up a storm and meeting up with all her friends and family that she would talk about. I finished reading the new Harry Potter book as well and the things in the book made me remember some things about mom dying that I didn't want to. All she wanted was to be loved by her children. That's all I'd want if I was a mother too. This picture is on my mom and dad's wedding day. She was already pregnant with Allan in this picture. I wanted to pick a better picture in colour, but this is all I could find for now. I don't know where the other pictures are, there are pictures of her wedding to Percy that I'd love to scan and show too; I was proud and happy to be around for her special day and she was happy that day too.

I won't speak of the last days with mom right now because they're still too painful and sad for me too, but I just wanted to let my mom know, somewhere in the great beyond, that I love and miss her.

Who Is This Little Cutie?

I still look the same too!
Ha-ha-ha, I will never look like that again actually.
This is a new thing that Blogger has allowed me to do which I believe will change the way I blog for sure!!

Art

Today I met with the curator of the Niagara Art Gallery, Dean Tedesco and had a really great time. He let me take a look around at all the different artists that were in his gallery along with letting me know about all the things that were coming up at the gallery (drawing classes, feature artists). I had a great time and it was really inspiring. Especially when he mentioned a few people had enquired about the paintings that I had done. I will be keeping in touch with him and maybe help out more with some of the ideas he has coming in the future. Oooo, I'm sooo excited! I just had to let you know ;)

Kim

The Internet

What a wonderful tool!! I'm always so surprised about what I will find when I go looking for it! It is true there is lots of advertisers trying to take up your time with ads, but when you find something interesting that doesn't lead to commercials it is very exciting and eye opening. For example - today I was looking up information on comets and asteroids and read on some interesting information on a religious standpoint of previous recollections of comets falling out of the sky (ie. Revelations) and then reading further about other religious writings with comets and asteroids. Which led me to a Zoroastrianism site that I forgot that I was interested in learning about as well as other world religions and how they relate to eachother. All telling different stories that led to the same end. How wonderful is that! I enjoy reading about that too and how we are all related on a very basic level. We all look so different and yet we have structure and ways that make us similar. We are all related on a genetic level - I have believed that since I was young. That is why I enjoy the internet because there are people just living their lives without prejudice; expressing themselves freely without any worry of being told they can't do that.

I am going to use the internet to the best of my advantage so I can and fully express myself through my writing (if you haven't noticed already). Who needs pictures if you just take the time to read you will know everything inside me. I am worthy. I am someone who deserves recognition for I feel with the internet I can change the world! (Papparazzi can just keep their cameras away from me - who needs their bother and sneers!)

Did I mention that I believe I am reincarnated? Maybe that will be the subject for next time...;)

Kim

My Brother

I have to get this off my chest! It has been something that just sits at the back of my mind and I have only recently said something that stopped our communication with eachother; but that was only because it needed to be said for the fact that he had fallen back into his old habbits. This is something that cannot be taken lightly!

My brother is 12 years older than me. He started partying back in the early 70's with my sister Anne. There is a two year difference between them and they knew a lot of the same people and had a lot of the same friends. When it came to me, being that I was still a child back when he began his crazy ways I would always watch him and laugh saying "that's my brother for you". He was studying to become a certified machinist. He always was good at shop and mechanics. He also enjoyed partying and he was the one who got me interested in rock bands. He also liked Yes too. As I got older and became more aware of the effects of alcohol and drugs, I would begin to see what my brother was doing in a different light. He was no longer becoming funny to me. It would worry me more than I would admit to myself at times. It made for an unstable family life (being that my father was also alcoholic and dying of cancer at that point) and it was as if things were unravelling. In the 80's I know that my brother had started to experiment with a lot more other things that maybe even Anne was not aware of. Anne and him had split as partying friends and he had now a new bunch of friends which continued the party when the party was over. There were days when my step-mom had to be the one to set him straight and I know that wasn't easy for her because he wasn't even her own son. Allan had stopped caring at that point anyways. He was a machinist, he got whatever he wanted because now he had the money to do it, and he was the man who could and would keep the party going. His life was a blur at that point to me. It seemed as if he was trying to spend the money faster than he could make it. When I was 12, he was 24 and had turned into quite the druggie. He was doing cocaine and whatever new experimental drugs that was available to take at that time. Anne was a mother and had responsibilities and my other sister Teresa was 16 - old enough that she became Allan's new party buddy. She told me later that she had dated a lot of his friends when she was hanging around with him - getting into trouble - partying with him and his friends. She had fallen in love with one of Allan's friends who he'd played hockey with but things quickly soured between them. She would always regret that one that got away. In the meantime Allan had fallen in love with one of Teresa's friends - who happened to be a few years older than me - and when she became old enough, he started dating her and got her pregnant with their first child. I still saw that it didn't stop the party from slowing down, if anything he started partying harder. As the years passed he continued to party and it made life difficult for a normal family to live with and adjust to and his girlfriend and daughter left. It was too chaotic! In the 90's he still was partying, but it was affecting his ability to work and a lot of the things he had he was slowly losing - but the party never stopped. He lost his house, his family, his car, his possessions, his ability to fight for something more. He lost his mind. I'd always hope he'd turn around. In 1990 I was 20 he was 34; I tried staying with him for a while when I got out of college but found it impossible to live in that environment. He'd always have the shades drawn - worried he was being spied on by police for possession of marajuana. He had strange people coming and going out of the house all the time, it was a dirty messy place where filthy people like his latest girlfriend (a cocaine addict like himself - which I didn't know at that time) was frequenting and acting like the dirty tramp that she was. I moved out and found my own place letting him know before I left that he was in need of help. He didn't listen to me. Teresa and him would still party together and she probably knew exactly what was going on and turned a blind eye toward it so that she could get what she wanted from him. Now in the 2000's plus - he has lost everything, he doesn't work he can barely take care of himself; he lives off scraps, and has lived on the street more times than I care to mention, he has become a walking disease. I still tell him he needs help and he still doesn't listen. He continues to party although the choice people he parties with now would be called vagabonds than friends. They sponge off him and he lets them. He is dying from the party and the party never dies. He has hepititis C and HIV which could easily become AIDS because he still lives in a filthy environment.

All these years it has burned me inside that he has been so blind to his ways that he will never stop. I was always to him just a younger sibling that didn't know what I was talking about, and he still thinks of me that way. The last time I had it out with him I told him how I felt and for that we are no longer on speaking terms because I told him how it hurts me. I no longer have to be quiet because of my mother's love for him - she's gone now and I have every right to let him know how he hurts everyone around him. Teresa still turns a blind eye because she's given up too, and Anne, God Bless her soul, has tried to help him, but it goes way beyond what any of us can do - it has to be something he wants; to change his life around before it's too late. But perhaps it is already too late.

I throw this into the blog with my regrets that I didn't do more to help him when I told him the first time. I'm not perfect and I am also not free from sins that I do not harbor some regret for; but at least I knew when the party was over. It's been over a long time ago. With this sadness I commend thee to the blog......Kim

The Gallbladder

On June 3rd I got my gallbladder removed and boy am I ever sore! I feel like I've been prodded, skewered and poisoned and now I'm starting to finally feel a little better. I'm still resting and have had a week off but I may need another to recover. It's not easy to recover from such a thing! I tire easily and even if I try to stay alert I am not yet 100%. Already I feel like I should lie down...

I'll write another time...Kim

My New iMac G5 with Tiger!

So, I got my new computer finally and I'm taking the time to learn to use it. I'll begin by saying that it is very quiet and compact and beautiful to look at but right now it is still a computer to me. Just another thing to have to learn. My husband will be probably spending more time on it than I will unless I start using the applications without wanting to revert it into a gaming machine! I always feel like I have to play with it first before I get down to business...Something I'm going to have to change now that I have a great big hard drive and tons of storage space to hold my works...Maybe complete my novels??? Hmmmm....Drawings....Yes well maybe. I still have to get all my files transferred over...Maybe that's what I'll do today too.

But just wanted to throw a quick line out and let everyone know that I got my mac!

I'll let you know how it continues.....Till then, ciao! Kim

I'm Upgrading!!

Soon I will be writing on my new computer and I can't wait to try it out! All the things I will be able to do, hopefully will advance me into my career - I hope - or at least make it so that I use the computer for more than just playing games on. I have a course I want to take and I'm excited about that too! I hope it's all I imagined it will be...

Just want to let you know I will be going to have my gallbladder removed on the 3rd of June and depending on how I feel you will be seeing more posts on my blog too if I'm feeling up to it or if I'm bored or if I can't I guess you wont. Either way I'll let you know how it went. Hopefully they wont have to cut me open. :)

Love you all and thanks for reading...... Kim

Getting Older...

I've learned a lot over the years, and have had many things come and go - I have even had things repeat themselves. Sometimes the more things change the more they do remain the same. I have lived years with people having the same bad attitudes and I am tired of it; so much so I've decided that now since there is no one who needs to protect me from anything, I am free to speak and say things that I was unable to say before. Things that would have remained silent, but I really can't stand to see other people hurt by what someone says offhandedly and out of spite. Especially family, they should know better because they're old enough to! No one should make anyone feel bad or guilty of something when all they are trying to do is help. Oh if only these hurtful people only knew the half of the things they're creating they'd change their ways...But maybe not. That is why I have to speak and cannot stay silent any longer.

Don't hurt people purposefully - have respect for one another!

Peace! Kim

Natural Death vs. Life Support

I had a feeling a day like this would come. When I heard about Terri Shievo and her family's extention of her life when she never wanted to stay in a vegitative state for so long (15 years!) if she couldn't enjoy her quality of life has been more compounded now that she has finally been released; and here we are on the edge of having a Pope passing away without any machines keeping him alive any longer than he needed or wanted to be. Maybe we should take this to heart, if people wanted to survive they would, if they aren't going to make it they should be let go. There is a reason for death for the same reason for living. One should not be able to kill themselves because they want to but if they are seriously - I mean deathly ill - and the quality of life is been limited and they request to die they should be allowed to die with dignity. People have a sense of when it's time to go - whether they choose to acknowlege it or not. Machines are great to be able to keep one stable and aid when - in the case of my mom and my niece Sarah - the heart has a mis-beat and needs extra help, but to keep the body alive when the brain is gone or people are in a vegitative state and have to be treated once again like an unprotected child - helpless - there's when things should be rethought. The Pope has chosen to die naturally. The doctors just give him what he needs to go peacefully.

When ma-ma got really bad it was a decision for all of us whether or not she should have her lungs suctioned out to continue her torture of death or just to let her be. Anne and I agreed that she'd suffered long enough throughout her life that she shouldn't have to suffer death longer than need be. I was there when she died. She was conscious and looking around. I would wipe her mouth and stroke her hair and I could see the vein in her head throbing - as if she was still thinking even though she couldn't speak anymore. I knew she wanted someone to talk to her and assure her she would be alright and I soothed her; letting her know we all loved her and she was safe and she would be alright. I am grateful for all the time I got to spend with her even when she started to suffer with infections and pneumonia. She was strong and loving right until the end. I missed out on a lot of her life but I'm glad I could be there when she needed me. I love and miss you ma-ma!

I hope I die with dignity and naturally. I wouldn't want to be on a machine to keep me breathing or keep me alive when I was in a lot of pain. I have been ready for death since my father passed away. I realized that death awaits us all, it's all a matter of when or how we meet it. So many people I loved are gone now too and I am loathing the day that I have to live if my Francesco had to die. I'd rather go before him, I don't need anymore sorrow. I will not talk about it anymore because it already is making me feel weepy. I hear the CBC in the background speaking about the Pope's condition and I know our lives will not be so public when we are at death's door but it doesn't mean that our lives are not as important to others who know us.

May peace and love be with you and be not afraid of what lies ahead of us. We have to bare witness to this world and these passing things and learn from them.

Love to all alive and dead!

Kim

MY ART @ THOROLD CHAMBER of COMMERCE

Thanks to my brother Al, I am now displaying my artwork at the Niagara Gallery on Front St. @ the Thorold Chamber of Commerce. They host meetings there and hopefully will be finding more art work for me to do. I am so happy that this happened and I managed to get a couple of framed pencil drawings (Stevie Ray Vaughan & Ringo Starr) out there for people to admire! I hope I get some recognition from it and they'll want more artwork in the upcoming months...I guess we'll see. For now I'm going to have to add this to my resume. This is so AWESOME! I can't tell you, fine reader, how happy this makes me! I wish my brother nothing but LOVE and hope that he'll be strong with all he has to go through! Mom & Dad would be proud!

Happy Easter to everyone and may your God be with you!

Kim

Dog Sitting...and Other Stuff

I had a great week dog sitting for friends of mine who went to Los Vegas this week. The dogs were just tiny things and easy to care for, and I really appreciated the silence. It gave me a chance to read and relax and not feel like I was in the way. It was funny watching the dogs play together, for Meena is a tiny Yorkie and Bella being a poodle looked like an elephant in comparisson to the little one. Bella could just move her paw and send Meena across the floor like she was nothing. They were hillarious to watch with Meena putting her but in Bella's face and nibbling on her ear. Bella loved the attention!

I should have given the little one a bath before the end of the week but I couldn't smell her that much, but in the same token she had a cold and although I tried to get rid of the boogies on her eyes with a warm cloth I couldn't get them off, so it looks like she'd been crying. But she's still cute! I was also able to get in some reading and managed to get a few books read this week which is nice! Next week it's back to life as usual and I hope that I get to do more things with my art. I've been reading about cartooning and always trying to learn more to be able to one day make a living at it. I also have to get my income tax done!! Very important!!

I just want to make mention that I love my Francesco! He's so sexy! Not that you care or anything but he means the world to me and I always consider myself lucky to have him in my life...Hopefully he'll help me with my website and then we'll both be profitable! Until then I will just take him for his beautiful ways and honour him with the love I have for him that is neverending...

Until next time my fine reader....Ciao!

The Way in Which the World Works

...Sounds pretty interesting, huh? I thought you'd like the opening title. It makes it seem as if I'm going to write a big sermon on how to better our lives...But I'm not.

It's not up to me to help you progress through your life. The whole point of life is to find our own place in it. I was told at this age I will. I hope that's true because I've had enough of being a misfit and feeling awkward. I know this to be true of my age at this moment; that all these people who try to make me feel bad are just hurting themselves instead because I am a good person. There should be no reason to dislike someone like me. I don't do it to them on purpose. I usually have a good reason to dislike someone. For instance, I dislike people who have a low self-esteem and feel they have to make others feel bad in order for themselves to feel good. That is wrong and very negative. Can't we all just get along? Believe me I've tried enough with these people to realize now that I don't need to feel like I have to try to win them over. If they don't like me...Too bad. It all comes down to choices we make in this life. My teacher was right...Life's what you make it. Oh well I guess I've just turned this into a sermon...sorry!

What is new this month...Now that it's almost at the end... Oh, I tried out earlier in the month for a role in a comedy/mystery play, but I didn't get the part....I'm working on getting my artwork out there like I promised, and I've gotten Frank to print off a couple of tri-fold brochures to show people the work that I do. I hope I get work from it! What am I saying...I know I'll get work from it...It may not be enough to sustain me but when I get everything lined up and in order I'm going to have a great business, and that makes me excited. I have to face the fact that this is what I am. And this is what I'm meant to do. I am an ARTIST! Isn't that great! Let's see what else... Oh yeah, this is the year of the Rooster, which is my year so things are looking great that way too. I have already done one caracature this month for a friend of Anne's, my sister, and got paid for that. Only $35.00, but it's better than nothing! I finished the portrait for Paula, my collegue at work, of her friend that passed away at Christmas time. I hope she likes it. Someone is interested in looking in "ThE bOoK", where I keep all my anger in the pages as well as love and life...Well if they want a good laugh, go ahead, just don't lose it or I'll have to re-draw everything....heh-heh-heh (evil laugh). Anyways, I have to go for now...If I think of more I'll write again. Thanks for reading....That's a wrap!!

Magic!

Finally....It's over! Not that I'm glad that it's over, but I'm glad it went well. At least from what I could see from backstage and what little tricks I had to help with. The "Danny Zzzz" Magic Show yesterday at Governor Simcoe School was a charitable event so this time we didn't get paid, but the money raised went toward the Parnell School so they could get new play equipment for the children along with other gym equipment they may need. It's a great cause! It was a great stage! Going back to our old stage will be quite crowded - especially on my side of the stage!

I had a lot of fun, and I'm thinking of changing my resume to add that I also am a stage actress. Won't that add for a great interview too! Well, it will make me a well rounded artist wouldn't it? I've had dreams of being on stage for something more serious. Real acting....Well, I guess we'll see about that, huh? LOL!

Oh, I almost forgot...I went to the Yesworld.com website and saw that Roger Dean is going to be creating an animation movie based on his floating islands. I can't wait to see this! I will definately get the DVD when it comes out too! I think his artwork is magic too. I should write to let him know that I like reproducing his artwork on computer and paint - not airbrushing yet. I hope he's able to raise the money too to get this started. I can't wait to see it!

So it's almost the end of the month and I hope everything will just continue to get better and better. I heard that the car companies are thinking of making hydrogen cars - perhaps I'll think of driving. Something to think about...Me driving....LOL!

Day 20

This is the place where imagination begins...Sitting in front of a computer and contemplating the words I wish to relay on the ways in which I think. It is sad that all the things that I want to say I still feel that I will say something incorrectly and someone (maybe even myself) may become offended at the words I write. I shouldn't have to worry, after all this is MY blog site! I know there are so many of them on the internet now that what I write shouldn't make a difference to anyone - especially in what I write! I am also writing things that could drastically change later on. Right now is what I write but later it could be in a totally different direction and I may not agree with the things I wrote earlier....Although I do know when I wrote in my journal or in my alternative books...or THE BOOK over 10 years ago, and go back on it to reflect I can understand why I wrote the things I did and hope that things have changed from that point. Although some things never do and there is nothing that I can do about that! Anyways, I'm still contemplating my art and how I think I need an agent or someone to help sell my art and get my name recognized. I also have to find out about learning to air-brush. I really would like to learn, it could be a new change in my artwork completely. It could be good or bad, but I will have to look a little deeper into that. In the meantime I will let the snow thaw and continue to do some kind of artwork until I am able to get out more in the spring....The work in THE BOOK continues, it is almost complete....hee-hee-hee (evil snicker)

Day 11

I seem like I'm forever trying to get myself motivated to create something "brilliant" or "incredible", something no one has ever done before. And in doing that become completely satisfied with the way my life is. But in a nutshell I'm still struggling. Am I the only one?

What I want is to be able to market my talents be it for artwork or makeup artist or graphic artist; to show myself as the best creative person in all of the world. To be sought after for my abilities, that would be wonderful, but what I'm use to being is underpaid and not in the right place in my life right now. This year I will pick up where I left off last year which is trying to get people interested in my artwork. I would like to make a living at it; and maybe have a little more money to put aside for a rainy day. I have plenty of those already! Perhaps with having a blog, it will force me into seeing my goals written upon my website and become motivated enough to pursue them more dilligently. Here's hoping anyways!

Happy 2005 New Year!!

Now I'm going to have to get use to labelling everything 2oo5...When I was young it was almost tradition to dress up the family and go out into the cold weather just to visit my dad's friends houses. We'd amuse ourselves while my dad would enjoy all the spirits of the season...And then we'd come home and watch the ball drop (if we could stay awake that long), and then everyone would hug and cry on the passing of the year.

Now, most of the Holiday Season has been quiet. We (my husband and I) spend it with eachother being comfortable, happy and content. We praise the passing of the year hoping the next year will be better than the last. No more crying, no more confusion and tension...Very peaceful. Don't get me wrong I miss my father and I miss the visiting but now that I'm older I realize that a lot of the confusion, crying and tension was all based on too much of the "spirits" taking over our lives.

I worry and fret about those who still live in that environment and why they put up with it. I used to because I didn't know any different because I was so young, but now I'm older and I won't ever go back to the way it used to be. This is a great life and I'm thankful for every day and I want it to expand and share it with my family and friends the best I can. I can't make everyone understand my way of thinking but I hope that they come to realize that a new year means a new way of living, not falling back into the same cycle of confusion year after year.

Love and peace to all! Yes is the answer!

Kim