The World Goes Round and Round...

You know, sometimes I get pretty pissed with the world.  I can't believe how low it makes me! I feel like scraping my knuckles on the floor and reverting back to ape form. I am so screwed right now too.  Who do I have to tell? No one will listen anyways! This may be one of my last posts so take it for what it's worth.  I would love to sell everything and leave and never come back.

I remember the days when I was a child, I would sometimes find my father in the dark in the living room just smoking and drinking and staring into space.  He asked me if I would like to run away with him.  He said it would be just him and me. No sisters, no brother, no mother, no step mother, just him and me.  I loved my father so I was more than happy to.  What did I have at that time anyways?  I had a friend who treated me like shit. I had siblings who had better things to do than watch their younger sister.  My dad would say that we would run away and live in the woods and forget the world.  We would be like pioneers and live off the land and move far away where no one would find us.

He unfortunately didn't even make it to his retirement. Now here I am - at the same age with the same thoughts except for not drinking or smoking, I sit in the dark and contemplate how fucking crappy I feel right now and wish I could forget everything. I have no plans and no money. I feel as if I have been lied to by everyone and I would happily face death then to continue with life. I have been completely drained and worthless. I feel my talents have been squandered and I have been living a lie hoping that maybe I have something special.  I have nothing special to offer anyone - my love isn't even that special.

So enjoy life for what it's worth because the rest of it SUCKS!!!!!!!!!

Poopy Thanksgiving?

Well, what can I tell you? I've had a while to get used to rambling and ranting about things that are of highly no significance to anyone.  So let me just continue with this filth by adding a little more mud.

This is a list of things to which nothing applies:

cornmeal
sponge
tropics
booty
gland
partition
dig
change
wreath
shovel

Nothing pertinent anyways.  They have their own particular meaning to other people I'm sure.

Now I will tell you about my poopy meal that keeps reminding me to take a bathroom run at least every half an hour.  My insides squirm and my lower colon aches with the idea of having to get rid of another fine mess that I've gotten myself into.  There are burbles and quibbles and then it all echoes into my sphincter  that thinks it has to go NOW!  So I am reminded that yes, I did eat the corn and there it goes! More gurgling and churning and back I go again!  My guts haven't been normal for a long time now.

I always had problems going to the washroom when I was young.  One reason possibly being because of the obsession with bathrooms that I've had since a kid where if I was scared or nervous I wasn't pooping and I would become constipated and give birth to what I called 'baseballs'.  How they got out without ripping me apart I still don't know! Everyone (meaning family) was saying it was because I didn't drink enough water.  I think it just was because I didn't want to poop in an uncomfortable place.  Sometimes one has no choice.  Which is what led to a lot of problems going when I was young because I wanted to be in a good place where I wouldn't be interrupted when I pooped - isn't that what we're all looking for?

I once remember having to try to take a crap in the forest. I was worried about poison oak but was also worried about the voices I heard that got closer and I had to try and hold it back from coming.  I hated that day for sure! I also remember a time when I was young when I farted diarea and didn't realize it and had to hope no one noticed...Which no one ever did. That was a rare occurrence having diarea! It would only happen when I was sick and I usually would be sick at both ends!

With it being Thanksgiving I would like to say thanks that I no longer have constipation problems!  I also don't eat like I used to either.  I've given up taking prune juice, senacot pills, and every other remedy for dookie problems.  Now I'm cured!  My stomach works too well sometimes, it even causes me to have problems with acids going into my oesophagus that I have to sleep with two pillows.  I'm never comfortable anymore when I sleep and I wake up with a crooked neck in the morning! Hello old age! It's all downhill from here folks!

Have I made it to New York yet?

Imagine...Seeing my art displayed at Times Square!  How exciting is that? I tell you, it is something that thrills me to the tips of my toes!  I'm no Picasso but I know art! I've wondered if I will ever find someone who will go "I love your works of art!  Give me all of them! Price is no object!"  Yes I am dreaming. That's why I put the word 'imagine' first.

The reality of the art world is that there are a lot of great artists - not just hacks - out there that do a lot better than I do.  The thing is they are not me.  Hallelujah for that!  I am still hopeful but trepidatious because I know there are way too many people waiting to take advantage of my talent too.  I learned by applying to so many different places that are saying...We can show you more if you pay us.  Sorry, all! I can't even afford to pay attention to you anymore!! I'm trying this one because I want to get into the markets that will take my art seriously.  I have L.A. styled art.  I am not a cute little artist...I am a SERIOUS artist!  I am only a clown because I choose to be.  It's a skill set! It's a job to get extra cash because I can't figure out anything else that I excel in other than art.  Art jobs do not find me in St. Catharines or Thorold! I fade out of memory too quickly perhaps.  Oh well!

So, I aim my sights higher...Try New York or L.A. Perhaps I can get further ahead somewhere...Hmmm...Enough talk for now...Time for ACTION!!!

"The Bathroom is the Place!" - William Shakespeare

So, dear Reader, another 'potty' story for you. I'm serious when I say: women are just as, if not more, disgusting than men and they would never let on it was them. Guilty people will never say if they are the ones who mess up a bathroom. Case and point - the other day I went into the cramped little washroom at work and was sitting in one of the stalls when I happened to look around me.

Big mistake!

I was really, really disgusted! Besides the fact that there was dried blood spatters on the far wall (who knows what woman was playing 'rodeo' that day in the stall with her tampon) I had looked on the right and left of me and someone had decided to skip the toilet paper or tissue and took the boogers from their nose and wipe it all over the stall walls. I was grossed out!

We had office cleaning staff who had been there now for weeks and hadn't even tried to clean the toilets obviously because it was dried up and crusty.

So I lodged a complaint to my boss who - she never noticed until I pointed it out to her - was completely disgusted and sent an e-mail for the girls at work to clean up after themselves. She was saying to me: 'Who does this kind of thing? What are they in Grade 3?'

This week I had looked and the cleaners had actually come into the washroom and cleaned our toilets! Yay! But the blood spatters were still on the far wall. Oh well, they never clean as well as I do. They've never had to clean up after old ladies who missed the bowl in the retirement home and had crapped all over the toilet and barely into the toilet. They never had to deal with ladies who flung their poo around the washroom like monkeys! They've never had to deal with the 'ring around the bath tub' where you could remove the dead skin with a palet knife because it was so thick!! I had to clean up so much shit I am disgusted more so with blood and boogers!

If you don't look around when you're in a small washroom - you are smart. It's best not to guess what that mess could be. In the famous last words of Elvis Prestley: "uhhhhhh...." *plop*!