Poopy Thanksgiving?

Well, what can I tell you? I've had a while to get used to rambling and ranting about things that are of highly no significance to anyone.  So let me just continue with this filth by adding a little more mud.

This is a list of things to which nothing applies:

cornmeal
sponge
tropics
booty
gland
partition
dig
change
wreath
shovel

Nothing pertinent anyways.  They have their own particular meaning to other people I'm sure.

Now I will tell you about my poopy meal that keeps reminding me to take a bathroom run at least every half an hour.  My insides squirm and my lower colon aches with the idea of having to get rid of another fine mess that I've gotten myself into.  There are burbles and quibbles and then it all echoes into my sphincter  that thinks it has to go NOW!  So I am reminded that yes, I did eat the corn and there it goes! More gurgling and churning and back I go again!  My guts haven't been normal for a long time now.

I always had problems going to the washroom when I was young.  One reason possibly being because of the obsession with bathrooms that I've had since a kid where if I was scared or nervous I wasn't pooping and I would become constipated and give birth to what I called 'baseballs'.  How they got out without ripping me apart I still don't know! Everyone (meaning family) was saying it was because I didn't drink enough water.  I think it just was because I didn't want to poop in an uncomfortable place.  Sometimes one has no choice.  Which is what led to a lot of problems going when I was young because I wanted to be in a good place where I wouldn't be interrupted when I pooped - isn't that what we're all looking for?

I once remember having to try to take a crap in the forest. I was worried about poison oak but was also worried about the voices I heard that got closer and I had to try and hold it back from coming.  I hated that day for sure! I also remember a time when I was young when I farted diarea and didn't realize it and had to hope no one noticed...Which no one ever did. That was a rare occurrence having diarea! It would only happen when I was sick and I usually would be sick at both ends!

With it being Thanksgiving I would like to say thanks that I no longer have constipation problems!  I also don't eat like I used to either.  I've given up taking prune juice, senacot pills, and every other remedy for dookie problems.  Now I'm cured!  My stomach works too well sometimes, it even causes me to have problems with acids going into my oesophagus that I have to sleep with two pillows.  I'm never comfortable anymore when I sleep and I wake up with a crooked neck in the morning! Hello old age! It's all downhill from here folks!